By Mr. D. Amnit
Highlights of Today’s Corey & Jay Show
The guys started off first thing this morning glad as hell that there are only 29 stinking days left in the Presidential Campaigns. And the closer it gets, the uglier it gets. And it seems that at this point you have to ask yourself the question, “Why would anybody even want the job to begin with”. Jay told Corey that with all the complicated problems the United States are going to have to deal with over the next few years, one would have to be clinically insane to want to the job. And if you’re clinically insane, shouldn’t you be disqualified from running for office to begin with? Corey reminded Jay that complicated issues are always surrounding the Commander in Chief although Jay seems to think that things are worse this election year than the last few. But again if there is light at the end of the long, ugly tunnel, it’s that there are only 29 days to go.
And today is the final day here in Arkansas to register to vote. If you want to exercise your right, get it done by closing time today. Or at least get your application postmarked by today. Visit the Secretary of State’s website to download the voter registration.
Corey had a strange story out of the U.K. about two women who were fined because they parked in the KFC parking lot too long. The reason: they were eating a Mega-Bucket with 14 pieces of chicken and six orders of fries. You would think the morons at the KFC location would comes to terms with the fact that it takes two women a long time to eat a mega-bucket of chicken. (Unless they are over-weight quick eating swallowing women who eat the chicken and worry about crapping out the bones later).
The guys talked about Friday’s conviction of O.J.Simson for kidnapping and armed burglary which was a surprise for Corey because he thought the bastard was going to get away with it again. But the jury didn’t see it that way. They said they had very little faith in the defense witnesses because of their credibility but used the audio recorded during the crime to guide them and came up with a guilty verdict. So O.J. is sitting in a little 7 by 14 foot cell in Las Vegas waiting out the sentencing which won’t happen until December 5th. “Damn O.J…… You’re going to miss Thanksgiving. Sucks to be you”.
Corey had some hilarious audio clips from SNL where Tina Fey once again did a killer job as Sarah Palin. The parody this weekend was of the Vice Presidential Debate that was held last Thursday night. If you missed it… try You Tube. It was posted yesterday but I don’t know if they pulled it down or not yet. NBC has very little sense of humor when it comes to those copyright laws.
The guys talked about a news article that Corey brought in concerning a 16 year old girl who decided to have a party in her parent’s home while they were out of town. She invited 50 friends but ended up with an out-of-control mob of over 250 rowdy drunken who busted apart the house, broke all kinds of stuff, urinated all over the carpeting and shot fireworks at animals in the back yard. Overall it sounds like a huge success as a party but her parents might disagree. She could get grounded for life if they even let her live.
Jay had news that a video of breast augmentation performed on the late Anna Nicole Smith (while she was alive of course) was just about to become available this week when a judge put the whammy on the release. It’s going to be held up in court for a while so no one’s going to make any money off of it. Strangely, it was edited down from the entire surgery to just a 5 minute highlights reel with the soundtrack of “Jaws” in the background.
Other things the guys got into this morning included the varying prices of gas at the pumps in Central, Arkansas, oil spills caused by Hurricane Ike, the final poo-flinging of the elections are still to come, the quick penis shot on CBS’s Survivor: Gabon, NY City Dominatrix wants to for a coalition and unionize the practice of pay for S&M, also a lot of odd text messages and calls for a Monday Morning.
And what did we learn today:
Meat & Beer!!!….. You want us to cut down because of global warming? Are you out of your minds?
Savings and Moan (Ba-da-fricka boom)
The Pope-A-Thon rules.
More tomorrow…
By Mr. D. Amnit
Highlights of Today’s Corey & Jay Show
Wow…. Are you lucky! It’s Corey & Jay Show Picture Day
First… Here’s Senator Joe Biden mere seconds before his head exploded:
Here’s Oprah Winfrey mere seconds before her head exploded:
Here’s the Pope mere seconds before he commanded God to blow up the head of Satan:
Here’s Paul Newman mere seconds AFTER his head exploded:
And what did we learn today:
Don’t Explode!
More Monday…
© 2008